It's been almost two months since I split with my ex. No, I don't miss him. My daughter doesn't either. But life has not been a piece of cake either. The first few weeks, I was in constant alert, even sleeping on the couch to make sure he didn't try to break in the house. I have less laundry and mess to clean up in the house, but there's no money to pay bills. My gas got shut off yesterday (thank goodness it just controls the stove and furnace) and I have to find a way to come up with almost $300 just for this months electric bill. I had to make an agreement with landlord to pay rent in the 17th when I get my financial aid. I need to find a part-time job during school so that I can pay bills. I'm going to have to go to the food bank today for milk and bread....
And I do get lonely. Yes I live my daughter and she's always (ALWAYS) around. But I need adult, male attention sometimes. No, it's not about sex... Just to know that I was still attractive, wanted, desired, fun to be around..... All the things my ex said I was not. Want someone to cuddle and laugh at TV, to cook supper with, to mow the grass with, or go to the pool/lake with. I guess I've always wanted a "whole" family and I never have gotten it. Yeah, my ex wanted to try to be that, but only AFTER he shoved me around, called me names, belittled me for years, and said that he never wanted kids. Um, yeah.... Not gonna work that way asshole.
Life's definitely not a rise garden right now, or maybe I just keep getting stuck by thorns and chased by bees. Just trying to survive I guess.
- Sandy Myers
- Manhattan, Kansas, United States
- I'm a 33 year old woman finding her own way in life, while being a mother of almost 7 yr old girl Angel, going to college full-time and working as many hours as i can to get by. I've lived in Kansas all my life growing up in SW and now living in The ne corner for 12 years. My ex is a medically-disabled/retired OIF/OEF veteran (TBI,PTSD) and my daughter is topping the scales on height and knowledge of her age. I'm just along for the ride sometimes :)