About Me

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Manhattan, Kansas, United States
I'm a 33 year old woman finding her own way in life, while being a mother of almost 7 yr old girl Angel, going to college full-time and working as many hours as i can to get by. I've lived in Kansas all my life growing up in SW and now living in The ne corner for 12 years. My ex is a medically-disabled/retired OIF/OEF veteran (TBI,PTSD) and my daughter is topping the scales on height and knowledge of her age. I'm just along for the ride sometimes :)

Monday, May 30, 2011

Day 3: Your Views on Drugs and Alcohol

This is a split opinion for me. I don't see anything wrong with alcohol consumption, as long as you are of age or, in fact, with family once you're 18. I understand the "law" says 21, but if you are with responsible family, there's nothing wrong with having a beer or maybe two between the ages of 18-21. I don't approve of minors getting drunk by any means, no matter who they are. But there's a lot more to drinking than the purpose of getting drunk. I hate being drunk. But I love having a beer to relax.

On the other hand, drug-users/abusers repulse me. My husband HAS to take prescription drugs for his PTSD issues, and so I'm obviously all for taking drugs for legit medicinal purposes. But marijuana, cocaine, meth, and that new so-called-legal weed -- If I know you use them at all; I pity you. Your life must be so joyless and depressing, your soul so dead and pathetic that you have to turn to illegal substances that do absolutely NO good to your body or mind. Once you do that, a dog has more common sense than you. There are sooo many options out there to entertain yourself other than getting high. I just don't understand why someone would feel the need to do that to themselves.

And, I'm done. :) Got a sunburned little girl I have to slather some more Aloe Vera on.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Day 2: Where I'd like to be in 10 years...

In 10 years, I'll be 41 (shhh, that's just a secret between you and me) and Angel will be 14/15. I have a feeling, that year will rival the current one in terms of difficult child-rearing LOL. We'd be bargaining for chores over make-up and family nights vs dating... All that aside, here's how I like to imagine our life will be playing out in 2021...

*I'd have graduated from K-State with my Bachelors in Agri-business.
*Jason and Angel have a quality father-daughter bond, in spite of how the first couple years went (with his PTSD/TBI issues)
*Angel and I spend mother-daughter time at the beauty salon, shopping, gossipping over hollywood stars, and have that deep friendship that allows her to feel comfortable discussing anything with me -- even that dreaded 3-letter word discussion (S-E-X)
*Angel will be doing very well in school and love learning! Hopefully, she will have found her "knack" at something -- whether it's Piano, Singing, Gymnastics, Cheerleading, Dance, whatever...
*We'll be living in San Antonio, TX. Close by the BAM-C medical center/Ft Sam Houston. This would allow us to live VERY close to one of the largest military hospitals in the US, so that Jason would be able to get immediate and constant monitering for his PTSD & TBI meds. We were stationed at BAM-C when Jason was first injured and fell in love with the area and the people there were so helpful!! And there's sooooo much to do there for a retired soldier (and his family)
*My mom would be able to come down for a couple weeks every other month to visit us (at our expense because of my fabulous job that I have -- whatever it may be!)

That's really all that I have pictured or want to happen at this moment. I try to be fairly realistic -- I know we'll all be arguing over bedtime, Jason will have his days where the meds don't help, I'll have mood swings..... But we'll have each other and our love. (wow, that was cheesy. sorry).... :)

Friday, May 20, 2011

Day 1: Discuss your Current Relationship

wow... well, that gets pretty emotional and complicated at times....

I have been married for 8 years, and we'll be together for 11 years come August. We've had our ups and downs, but any couple will tell you the same. We've come to the breaking point a few times as well, but it seems that we just keep going strong. I think our problem (and salvation) is that we're both just too pig-headed and stubborn. :)

Then, about 3 years ago, we had a major revelation in our love. Jason was in a C-130 'hard landing' and suffered from hemoragging in his brain. This gave an edge of mortality to our marriage and really made both of us realize that life is too precious and short to worry about the small stuff. However, he has a hard time dealing with stress and, honestly, turned into a giant jack-hole. His vices were alcohol, gambling, and violence (bar fight after bar fight with strangers). Never physically abusive toward me -- even when he was in "crazy mode", I knew he wouldn't directly hurt me or Angel. But since we're being honest, I wasn't sure when that last straw would break. Both me and Angel became fearful of his outbursts and walked on eggshells. Our life was anything but Happy. I stuck is out for 2 years when I finally had enough. I told Jason that it was either get help or get out. That was the wake-up call he needed to realize How he was treating us and just What he was going to lose. Yep, he checked into an in-patient treatment at the local VA hospital for 3 weeks, and then again for 2 more. Jason still suffers from Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and he will for the rest of his life. Thankfully, the military/VA has finally gotten him on some medications that help lessen the effects.

Granted, we both have our "days", and Jason has relapses of jack-hole, but we are definitely on the road to mending our brokenness. He's more caring/considerate, and I'm more cautious/doubtful than we originally were, but we're working on coming to the middle. I'd say we're definitely a case of "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger"!! My personal favorite line for our marriage is this : God won't give you anything you can't handle. (I just wish God didn't have so much faith in ME sometimes)

Am I up for a 30 day challenge??

Why not?? :)