wow... well, that gets pretty emotional and complicated at times....
I have been married for 8 years, and we'll be together for 11 years come August. We've had our ups and downs, but any couple will tell you the same. We've come to the breaking point a few times as well, but it seems that we just keep going strong. I think our problem (and salvation) is that we're both just too pig-headed and stubborn. :)
Then, about 3 years ago, we had a major revelation in our love. Jason was in a C-130 'hard landing' and suffered from hemoragging in his brain. This gave an edge of mortality to our marriage and really made both of us realize that life is too precious and short to worry about the small stuff. However, he has a hard time dealing with stress and, honestly, turned into a giant jack-hole. His vices were alcohol, gambling, and violence (bar fight after bar fight with strangers). Never physically abusive toward me -- even when he was in "crazy mode", I knew he wouldn't directly hurt me or Angel. But since we're being honest, I wasn't sure when that last straw would break. Both me and Angel became fearful of his outbursts and walked on eggshells. Our life was anything but Happy. I stuck is out for 2 years when I finally had enough. I told Jason that it was either get help or get out. That was the wake-up call he needed to realize How he was treating us and just What he was going to lose. Yep, he checked into an in-patient treatment at the local VA hospital for 3 weeks, and then again for 2 more. Jason still suffers from Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and he will for the rest of his life. Thankfully, the military/VA has finally gotten him on some medications that help lessen the effects.
Granted, we both have our "days", and Jason has relapses of jack-hole, but we are definitely on the road to mending our brokenness. He's more caring/considerate, and I'm more cautious/doubtful than we originally were, but we're working on coming to the middle. I'd say we're definitely a case of "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger"!! My personal favorite line for our marriage is this : God won't give you anything you can't handle. (I just wish God didn't have so much faith in ME sometimes)
- Sandy Myers
- Manhattan, Kansas, United States
- I'm a 33 year old woman finding her own way in life, while being a mother of almost 7 yr old girl Angel, going to college full-time and working as many hours as i can to get by. I've lived in Kansas all my life growing up in SW and now living in The ne corner for 12 years. My ex is a medically-disabled/retired OIF/OEF veteran (TBI,PTSD) and my daughter is topping the scales on height and knowledge of her age. I'm just along for the ride sometimes :)