About Me

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Manhattan, Kansas, United States
I'm a 33 year old woman finding her own way in life, while being a mother of almost 7 yr old girl Angel, going to college full-time and working as many hours as i can to get by. I've lived in Kansas all my life growing up in SW and now living in The ne corner for 12 years. My ex is a medically-disabled/retired OIF/OEF veteran (TBI,PTSD) and my daughter is topping the scales on height and knowledge of her age. I'm just along for the ride sometimes :)

Sunday, July 11, 2010


First off, I'm not usually the type to always want the bigger, better, faster, whatever. But I've become pretty restless at my current job. Nothing new to learn and the workload is dwindling, which translates into a very boring day for me. I've never been one to like sitting on my tush and getting paid to do nothing. Chalk it up to my farm-raised work-ethic.

So I was browsing through my companies job openings about 3 weeks ago and saw a postition opening in the NW part of the state. I'd be about an hour closer to my mom and in a smaller town (but not a whole lot smaller). It intrigued me, but only for a little while. Checked the openings about a week later and lo-and-behold, there was another opening (same job) but in the S Central part of the state - about 1 1/2 hours from home! I haven't been able to get it out of my head since.

I'm a firm believer in fate and that our loved ones who have passed have a heavy hand on what cards we get dealt. I think my daddy is trying to point me in the right direction from up in heaven right now (as he seems to do from time to time, just when I need and miss him the most). This job would allow me to work very closely with the local farming community in about 4 counties of small towns. I've always loved that I grew up on a farm in a small town, but I'm not quite cut out to run the farming operation myself. Heck, I don't even know how to change the oil in my car (thanks to my over-protective and loving daddy and brothers). This would be a way that I COULD be in constant contact with the local farmers. Also, Angel would grow up in a small community, like I was and want for her. Oh, and did I mention that it would MORE THAN DOUBLE my annual pay I'm getting now? I could live on this salary without a raise for the rest of my life and be content. I'd feel like we were hitting the danged lottery!

I'm not sure if it was my Confident, Fearless Woman personality or my Tired of Settling spirit that took over, but I have submitted my application for said job in the South Central. And now, I'm worrying endlessly about it. There's just too many uncertainties in my life. IF I get the job, IF we have to buy a new house, IF we get approved for a loan for a new house, IF we have to get a huge truck to move, IF I can't find great daycare/preschool for Angel, IF I'm underqualified and overwhelmed, IF we can't make new friends. Then, on the flip side- IF I don't get the job, IF I'm going to be miserable staying in my current job, IF my boss finds out I want a different job and that jeopardizes my job, IF another opportunity ever comes up again like this. UGH!!!

Talking to some people, I'm SOOO perfect for this job (need some more insurance schooling, but I've been knocking that out quickly already) and considering who I may be competing against for it - I have a really really good chance of actually getting it! Either it'll be locals applying (who have absolutely no experience in insurance or at least the computer system we use), or there's not a whole lot of people who'd be willing to relocate to the country for the job. But then, of course, Doubting Sally takes over and I keep thinking how I don't have field experience (only behind the desk and over the phone) and how there are sooo many classes I have to take to be considered an expert.

So anyway, thanks for letting me ramble on and on about a potential changing point in my families life. I do really really really really hope I get this job. I want it sooooo bad. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!

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